Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Top Ten Words That Will Make You NOT Pick Up a Book or, Some of the Strangest Titles Out There

I can’t really say that there are single words that turn me off from a book (vampire: let's indulge!, clockwork: absolutely!, dragon: Sam has stolen it from my hands) but there certainly are combinations of words (some people call it a title- I really think that's going to catch on) that simply perplex me.  

Here are some of those titles.  **Please note I have not actually read any of these books, so I give in to that inexpiable sin of judging a book by its cover and title.

The Best Dad Is a Good Lover by Charlie W. Shedd
Hands off, dude. 


George Bush, Dark Prince of Love by Lydia Millet
The Goodreads summary tells me this book is “written with razor-sharp satiric wit and packed with wry observations of our times.”  I find that hard to believe.

Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn
Both a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station and a werewolf in the closet?- when does she have time to buy her very low-riding pants?

Pemberley, or Pride and Prejudice Continued by Emma Tennant
Anything with the words “Pemberly” or “Continues”
Debatable whether Jane would protectively mourn the smuttification of her babies, or clandestinely giggle in the bookstacks with one of these continuations propped up on her knees. 

I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder
I like ghost stories, but I could never get past this title.

Red-headed stepchild by Jaye Wells
Such a clever title!   We redheads have never heard that before.  I also have my doubts this cover lady is a natural ginger.

Passion Untamed by Pamela Palmer
Can we all agree that romance novels have THE BEST titles and summaries?
Paenther (see what they did there, adding an extra silent letter?), a powerful and dangerous Feral Warrior (Feral. Warrior.). Even chained and naked (“No clothes for you, smokin’ hot prisoner!” That’s what I call punishment.), Paenther is a cunning prisoner who seduces her, body and soul, turning captive into captor (why is the lady always the one taken/conquered/captured?)

Touched by an Alien by Gini Koch
Inspired by the author’s favorite show?  The main character’s name is Katherine "Kitty" Katt.  That's all I need to know to keep moving to the next bookshelf.

The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade
The only kind of Goths I like to read about are the Visigoths.

First Step 2 Forever by Justin Bieber
You know it was written by a pre-teen, for pre-teens, when it has digits in the title.

So, tempted by any of these sparkling titles? Which are you most amused/repulsed/intrigued by?  Have you read any of these and want to inform me they're actually quality fiction? Feel free to set me straight!



  1. Great list. I love the way you picked your choices very creative.
    Thanks for sharing!
    My TTT

  2. Great list! I love how you've set out your list!

  3. hahahahahaha...where did you get these?~

    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it! These are titles I've been collecting on my Goodreads account every time I come across a ridiculous title :^)

      I'm looking forward to reading your TTT!

  4. Teehee. The Best Dad is a Good Lover is the most gag-inducing title ever. You definitely know a preteen wrote the book when it's about The Biebs and has numbers for words. Great list! I seriously giggled my way through it.

  5. NO NO NO! I LOVE all of Lisa Schroeder's books, I HEART YOU, YOU HAUNT ME included! I'd totally suggest reading it! And thanks for stopping by!

    Rachel @ Beauty and the Bookshelf

    1. I'll totally admit my judgments here are hasty & based on title/cover alone. I've never read anything by Lisa Schroeder- so I won't count her out! Thanks for commenting! :^)

  6. HAHAHAHA Oh my GOD where did you find these? I'm dying here (and especially glad my roommate is not home to witness it)

  7. That first title is just SO. CREEPY. Also summaries like Passion Untamed's just make me angry. "why is the lady always the one taken/conquered/captured?" <- Seriously, I can feel the women's movement being set back fifty years.


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