Top Ten Words That Will Make You NOT Pick Up a Book or, Some of the Strangest Titles Out There

(A feature of The Broke and the Bookish)

I can’t really say that there are single words that turn me off from a book (vampire: let's indulge!, clockwork: absolutely!, dragon: Sam has stolen it from my hands) but there certainly are combinations of words (some people call it a title- I really think that's going to catch on) that simply perplex me.  

Here are some of those titles.  **Please note I have not actually read any of these books, so I give in to that inexpiable sin of judging a book by its cover and title.

The Best Dad Is a Good Lover by Charlie W. Shedd

Hands off, dude. 

 

George Bush, Dark Prince of Love by Lydia Millet

The Goodreads summary tells me this book is “written with razor-sharp satiric wit and packed with wry observations of our times.”  I find that hard to believe.

 

   

Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn

Both a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station and a werewolf in the closet?- when does she have time to buy her very low-riding pants?

Pemberley, or Pride and Prejudice Continued by Emma Tennant

Anything with the words “Pemberly” or “Continues”

Debatable whether Jane would protectively mourn the smuttification of her babies, or clandestinely giggle in the bookstacks with one of these continuations propped up on her knees. 

I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder

I like ghost stories, but I could never get past this title.

Red-headed stepchild by Jaye Wells

Such a clever title!   We redheads have never heard that before.  I also have my doubts this cover lady is a natural ginger.

 
Passion Untamed by Pamela Palmer

Can we all agree that romance novels have THE BEST titles and summaries?

Paenther (see what they did there, adding an extra silent letter?), a powerful and dangerous Feral Warrior (Feral. Warrior.). Even chained and naked (“No clothes for you, smokin’ hot prisoner!” That’s what I call punishment.), Paenther is a cunning prisoner who seduces her, body and soul, turning captive into captor (why is the lady always the one taken/conquered/captured?)

Touched by an Alien by Gini Koch

Inspired by the author’s favorite show?  The main character’s name is Katherine "Kitty" Katt.  That's all I need to know to keep moving to the next bookshelf.

 

The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade

The only kind of Goths I like to read about are the Visigoths.

First Step 2 Forever by Justin Bieber

You know it was written by a pre-teen, for pre-teens, when it has digits in the title.

So, tempted by any of these sparkling titles? Which are you most amused/repulsed/intrigued by?  Have you read any of these and want to inform me they're actually quality fiction? Feel free to set me straight!

-Kate